Depression Is A Bitch

Such a bold statement to throw out there for a blog post, but it's a fact jack. It's a hovering spectre that comes and goes, waiting to make an appearance when everything lines up correctly.

You can almost equate it to the tides, the effects of the moon, Haley's comet, and other celestial events that we have no control over. Have a stressful situation? Here comes depression. Conversation with someone that pushes the right buttons? How about a dose of depression to go along with that? Major change in your life, good or bad? Depression. I've had all of these happen. Depression rolls up the drive, walks in the house and tells you, begs you, orders you to go to bed. Hide away in that safety. It's like a strain of virus that makes you feel like you have been hit with a bit of the flu, but the only symptoms settle in your mind. Sleep is your only escape. Fuck it, life is just going to take another bite out of you anyway.

Guilt is what I get out of depression. What happens is that depression makes me want to isolate myself from my life. The thing is that I love my life. My family is my life. I want to be there and be present for them. An active contributor to our little commune. The thing is that when depression hits town it acts as a wall keeping me from that which I love. Sometimes I'm able to swallow that feeling and live and sometimes I succumb to the way it melts away the things I should care about and puts my focus on the bullshit. You fall for its graces and it leads down the road. You become almost like a disciple to it. It haunts your life because it never really goes away. And when you're laying there, isolated and doing what it told you to do you get to think about how horrible you are for isolating yourself. It's a no win.

I'm not here to preach and I'm not here for pity. I am writing this for purely selfish reasons. I have a need to spill these feelings out in a tangible form for me to digest and maybe get a little something out of it. My own personal therapy perhaps? I don't know why, but it feels good to write this out in my own hand and then typing it again to see if I feel the same when I enter it digitally. Hopefully, having this sitting there as a document will allow me to look at the big picture as opposed to being held down by this anchor. It's hard to accept anything when you're in that moment. For the people that love you it's a helpless feeling because they can't break through the wall of isolation that surrounds you.

I've been very lax in posting on this blog. I've been active with movie reviews on the sister blog, but not like I was before I really went down hill about five years ago. My goal is to post here at least once a week starting now, even if it's random bullshit (and it probably will be). I also plan on posting more regular reviews on the movie blog along with other projects I've started for myself. Keeping busy tends to keep those feelings that drag me down at bay, so that's what I plan on doing.

So yes, this is going to be a very selfish endeavor, but sometimes you have to be selfish for your own good.

Aloha.

Rambling ABout Reboots and Remakes and Re-Imaginings

Before I begin I want to make it clear that I’m not reviewing a trailer. Trailers are advertising and it would be the equivalent of me reviewing a commercial for a steak dinner as opposed to an actual dinner. What’s the point? It was a trailer that’s encouraged me to write some ramblings about a phenomenon that is plaguing Hollywood. I honestly thought the day would arrive where this phenomenon would be out of the worlds cinemas and be a small asterisk in a ledger. I’m overreacting, of course, but I had hoped that the remake happy Hollywood machine would reel in it’s crutch of attempting to “re-imagine” movies to make a few quick bucks. Sadly, I’ve been wrong. It’s bigger and better than ever and continues to fill screens every summer… and fall… and winter… and spring. And the trend is only increasing.

The ugly truth about remakes is that they are quick cash grabs for the studios. The foundation of your film is there and all you have to do is fill it in to deliver at least eighty minutes of screen time. It doesn’t have to be coherent, funny, scary, thought provoking, or GOOD. There’s no need for quality because the studio is going to recoup its investment quickly and quietly, sneaking out of town like a carnival hawker in the dead of the night, pockets filled with cash. You see, the great thing about remakes is that they already have a built in audience and if you can sucker 50% of them to drop their money for a ticket, you’re in. Then there’s people curious because of name recognition. Let’s get some of their money, too. The key is to get that money before word of mouth circulates and the movie is branded as garbage. And those who skipped out are assured to check it out on home video.

So why do we go see them? Are we forever optimistic that we'll get the same feeling that we had when we saw the original?  Are the youth of the world, lacking definitive films to hold on to being forced into taking the scraps from earlier generations of film? It's hard to say. I don't have the answer and will admit to being snookered before (A Nightmare on Elm Street). The plot is there, but the soul is dead. Why am I bothering to watch this when I could be watching the original, superior film. 

Are there good remakes? Yes, particularly John Carpenter's The Thing and David Cronenberg's The Fly. I am a fan of Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake, but I would not put it in the same league as George Romero's original vision. But for every one of those films there's another 20 remakes that are garbage. My only explanation for it, citing Carpenter as an example, is that there is a love for the original source material and he wanted to honor it as opposed to a regurgitated mass production. 

By now I'm sure you can guess what prompted this little tirade of mine. I saw the Ghostbusters trailer last week. There's been controversy on both sides. The gender swapping (that I feel is gimmicky, but that's Sony Pictures for you) has caused some very hostile remarks. The thing is that another Ghostbusters movie has been desired for a quarter of a century and this isn't that movie. Does it necessitate the hostile tweets and such? No, of course not. The thing is that now that we tangible footage to look at you can make a preliminary judgement on this reboot. I don't review trailers, but being that I have a film with so much negativity associated with it, I would roll out a trailer with enough scenes to impress my audience and convert some of the non-believers. Let's just say it's not looking good.

I believe it was Martin Scorsese that asked why we don't remake bad movies. Polish them up and make them better than they were instead of having the audacity of thinking we can do a better job. It's not the quality, it's the quantity. I really would like to see some films that wow me without being remakes or sequels or "cinematic universe" members. Hit me out of left field. But there's no money in that.

David Bowie 1947-2016

Like those of us under 40 (barely) my memories of David Bowie start with MTV and the whole Let’s Dance era of his career. I was just a kid in the 1^st grade seeing him in the endless sphere of awesomeness that was MTV in the mid ‘80’s. This is one of those cases where it was the good old days, but that’s another story. So Bowie was a part of that stream of ‘80’s consciousness. It wouldn’t be until the late 1980’s and the early 1990’s and my desires switch from G.I. Joe’s to music and girls that I could understand the value of Bowie’s entire catalog, culminating in his performance at the Freddy Mercury Tribute Concert and my discovery of Mott The Hoople and delving deeply into his catalog.

My first Bowie record (outside of the compilation Changesbowie) would be 1995’s Outside. This was at a point of reinvention for him as he accepted more of an industrial tone to his music. Outside is a great concept album, cover to cover as great albums should be. It was a shock to the system that remembered the artist from MTV and compilation albums. What Outside did was encourage me to explore his catalog and look at the many layers of David Bowie. From pop star, to alien androgyny, the Thin White Duke, MTV Bowie, Tin Machine, and the industrial music godfather. David Bowie was always reinventing himself. I wonder if he was getting bored or was it his natural progression as an artist. Who knows, but it made him happy obviously.

My son discovered Bowie in an odd place- video games, specifically Hideo Kojima, who worked his favorite musician into his games to the point that this teenager became curious and we were actually searching for Blackstar the days before his death. We couldn’t find it locally, so he was still selling records even before death. I look back on this week as not the death of David Bowie, but the idea that his life will go on. Bowie will continue to snowball as long as people pay homage to him and it makes the next generation curious. We could call him and enigma wrapped in a riddle, but he wasn’t. It was all out for the world to see. That’s why his legacy will carry on way beyond his mortal life on earth.